Let’s flash back to Budapest Hungary in 1944 where a little baby boy named Gabor lay crying in his crib. He wouldn’t stop. Couldn’t stop. His mother called the doctor who said, “All my Jewish babies are crying”.
Nazis had taken over the country and killed Gabor’s grandparents in Auschwitz. Gabor’s dad was put into forced labor and his aunt was missing. Today we understand that Gabor was experiencing trauma through his mother’s stress.
His father thankfully returned after the war and when he was 12 years old, the family moved to Canada. Gabor went to the University of British Columbia before becoming a high school english teacher through the 60s and early 70s and then returned to university to become a doctor in 1977. Gabor spent over 20 years practicing family and palliative care medicine in the downtown Eastside of Vancouver -- a neighbourhood with one of the world's highest concentrations of drug addiction.
Today Gabor is the bestselling author of In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts, Close Encounters with Addiction, When the Body Says No, Scattered Minds, Hold Onto Your Kids, and his brand new New York Times bestseller The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness and Healing in a Toxic World.
I bought the book when it came out from Caversham Booksellers, which is North America’s largest mental health bookstore and located in downtown Toronto. They told me Gabor had been by many times and proudly had all his books in the front window. I cracked it open and couldn't stop reading. Gabor is entrancing, passionate, and wise and I was thrilled to sit down with him at Penguin Random House headquarters during the Canadian leg of his international book tour.
We discuss: play, love, Jordan Peterson, innocence, attachment parenting, Winnie the Pooh, father-son relationships, identifying and healing from trauma, curiosity and living, shifting attitudes, formative books, and much, much more…
This conversation is a journey I don't think you'll soon forget. I find myself thinking about it nearly every day.
Let’s flip the page into Chapter 115 now…
Chapter 115: Gabor Maté targets toxic triggers to transcend trauma
What You'll Learn:
Why is loss of innocence so poignant?
Why should we not give up play?
How is love manifested?
What is attachment parenting?
Why is our culture so toxic?
Why must we let kids manifest the full range of their emotions?
How do you develop a strong father/son relationship?
What is trauma?
How can we begin healing from trauma?
How can we build better connections with our children?
How can we make sure we are meeting our children’s needs?
How do we balance curiosity and life?
How should we choose to live?
How can we learn to shift our attitudes towards events?
Notable quotes from GABOR:
“Love is a manifestation of the universe.” Gabor Maté #3bookspodcast
“For the child it's a loss not to see the parent the whole day.” Gabor Maté #3bookspodcast
“Anger is a boundary protection. It's necessary.” Gabor Maté #3bookspodcast
“Children were never meant to be brought up in isolated nuclear families.” Gabor Maté #3bookspodcast
“We all have a bit of Don Quixote in us. We don't always see reality.” Gabor Maté #3bookspodcast
connect with gabor:
word of the chapter:
Resources Mentioned:
Gabor’s first book [8:38]
Gabor’s second book [27:18]
Gabor’s third book [46:15]
Finding Winnie by Lindsay Mattick
The Enchanted Places by Christopher Robin
12 Rules for Life by Jordan Peterson
God, Hold on to Your Kids by Gabor Maté
Iliad by Homer
Coddling of the American Mind by Jonathan Haidt
The Book of Awesome by Neil Pasricha
The Two-Minute Mornings by Neil Pasricha
The Happiness Equation by Neil Pasricha
The Myth of Normal by Gabor Mate
You Are Awesome by Neil Pasricha
