Chapter 146: Emily Nagoski on exuberant erotic exploration

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Is porn good sex education? Why does body autonomy matter for kids? Does talking about sex kill the mood?

Emily Nagoski has the answers!

Emily is a sex educator and activist whose mission is to teach us how to live with confidence and joy inside our bodies. She does this as the New York Times bestselling author of '​Come As You Are​,' 'Burnout​,' and '​Come Together​,' as well as through her ​3 popular TED Talks​ including—with over 3 million views—"​How couples can sustain a strong sexual connection for a lifetime.​"

Emily began working as a sex educator 30 years ago at the University of Delaware. She has a Master's in Counseling Psychology and she worked at the famous Kinsey Institute. She has taught graduate and undergraduate classes in human sexuality, relationships, communication, stress management, and sex education. She was Director of Wellness Education at Smith College for eight years before starting to write full time.

In this deep-dive chapter we talk about neurodiversity versus neurodivergence, maintaining longterm sexual connection, OKCupid, ADHD and Autism, teaching kids about sex, and, of course, Emily's 3 most formative books...

For those who want to strengthen and improve their sexual health with themselves and others ...

Let's flip the page to Chapter 146 now...

Chapter 146: Emily Nagoski on exuberant erotic exploration

View full transcript here

CONNECT with EMILY

emily’s 3 Books

  • First book (50:49)

  • Second book (1:18:06)

  • Third book (2:11:50)

WORDCLOUD OF THE CHAPTER

Quotes

  • "We’re all neurodiverse. We’re not all neurodivergent." — Emily Nagoski | 3 Books Podcast

  • "Some brains are outside what the world is built for." — Emily Nagoski | 3 Books Podcast

  • “Statistics are not how people learn stuff.” — Emily Nagoski | 3 Books Podcast

  • “People believe things are true more if they rhyme.” — Emily Nagoski | 3 Books Podcast

  • “It’s not a dysfunction to not want sex you do not like.” — Emily Nagoski | 3 Books Podcast

  • “Normal sex is any sex where everybody involved is gladto be there and free to leave with no unwanted consequences.” — Emily Nagoski | 3 Books Podcast

  • “Men are taught they are supposed to pursue sex at anycost or else they are not truly a man.” — Emily Nagoski | 3 Books Podcast

  • “Writing the sex book kind of destroyed my sex life.” — Emily Nagoski | 3 Books Podcast

  • “If you put pleasure at the center of your definition ofsexual wellbeing, all the other pieces are going to fall into place.” — Emily Nagoski | 3 Books Podcast

  • “There’s a lot of heterosexual people who have boughtinto the idea that friendship and sexual desire cannot coexist.You either want your partner or want your partner, and the likingkills the wanting. The opposite is true.” — Emily Nagoski | 3 Books Podcast

  • Imagine a world where you shared erotic connection is a shared hobby.” — Emily Nagoski | 3 Books Podcast

  • “Couples who have great sex lives talk about sex all the time.” — Emily Nagoski | 3 Books Podcast

  • “Learning to have sex by watching porn is like learningto drive by watching Formula One. Professionals, on a closedcourse, with a pit crew.” — Emily Nagoski | 3 Books Podcast

  • “The narrative around children is that they’re your possession.” — Emily Nagoski | 3 Books Podcast

  • “The wildest stuff happens when you pause in your pursuit of the ideal and consider the possibility that the body you have is already worth loving.” — Emily Nagoski | 3 Books Podcast

  • “Every autocracy, dictatorship, fascism...All of them depend on a misogynist patriarchal gender binary. Why? Because they are relying on the production of enough of the right kind of babies. By women who need to be obedient to their reproductive role therefore. And they need enough men to serve the capitalist machine. And then become cannon fodder.” — Emily Nagoski | 3 Books Podcast

  • “Masturbation is the most efficient way to learn about your body.” — Emily Nagoski | 3 Books Podcast

  • “Allow your body to experience pleasure whether or not you pursue orgasm.” — Emily Nagoski | 3 Books Podcast

  • “Our habitat is increasingly hostile to our continued existence.” — Emily Nagoski | 3 Books Podcast

  • “Books are my lifeline; I learned how to be a person by reading books.” — Emily Nagoski | 3 Books Podcast

Show Notes

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