Vivek Murthy

Chapter 66: Vivek Murthy on loneliness, living longer, and leading with love

LISTEN NOW ON APPLE, GOOGLE, SPOTIFY or YOUTUBE

-_JLnkkx_400x400.jpg

So Joe Biden gets elected President on a Saturday.

Who does he call up on Sunday?

Vivek Murthy.

The former Surgeon General of the United States under Barack Obama and the new co-chair of Biden’s Coronavirus Task Force offers such a unique combination of indisputable professional acumen with calm and resonant introspection.

I was first drawn to Vivek Murthy back in September of 2017 when I came across a cover story he wrote in Harvard Business Review called Work and the Loneliness Epidemic. I couldn’t believe it! Doesn’t the Surgeon General usually warn about smoking, obesity, and AIDS? Yet here was a medical doctor, in the most public forum, warning us on the perils of … loneliness. 

I took the piece to heart and let it lead me down a rabbit hole of research on solitude. I even quoted Vivek in You Are Awesome. Vivek’s CV reads like an Indian parent’s dream with a high school valedictorian followed by a Harvard undergrad and then Yale to become (no biggie) a doctor with an MBA!

Vivek Book Small.jpg

What did he do on the side? He founded VISIONS Worldwide (a not for profit focused on HIV/AIDS education in the United States and rural India) in 1995 and Doctors For America ( which fights for access to high quality affordable health care for the most needy) in 2008. He would then alternate years in medical practice with time in the highest echelons of government.  

Vivek released his wonderful book Together which went straight to the New York Times bestseller list and was endorsed by Malcolm Gladwell, our guest in Chapter 37 of 3 Books, who said: “Vivek Murthy reminds us that our national conversation about medicine has been too narrowly focused on hospitals, doctors and drugs and not enough on the human connections that sustain us.” Amen!

Fascinated by his prodigious intellect and dedication to the service of others, I knew I would love to chat with him on 3 Books. Susan Cain generously introduced us and Vivek then gave us the incredible gift of his time … spread out over two interviews across two months and stitched together here.

Miami postcard.jpg

What are the social implications of COVID? How do we prioritize the people in our lives who matter most? What is the best way to pursue a spiritual path? What is higher energy and how can we channel it? How do we deepen our friendships? What is a moai and how can one be used to help our spiritual and emotional growth? What does it mean to be guided by love versus fear? And, of course, what are former Surgeon General Vivek Murthy’s 3 most formative books?

I hope you see why Vivek’s voice resonates so powerfully in medical, business and political circles. His contemplative bias, humility, and calm in the face of this pandemic are a gift. If I was elected President, I would call him the next day, too!

Sit back and let his words and advice be the balm of wisdom that we can all benefit from right now.

Let’s go!

What You'll Learn:

  • How will the pandemic allow us to rebalance our priorities?

  • What is true service to others according to Hindu spiritual teachings?

  • How do religions share spirituality? 

  • How do we stay deeply connected to who we really are?

  • How can we be truly vulnerable with our friends?

  • What is the real power of an open ended question?

  • What does it mean to be fully present?

  • Why does multitasking not work?

  • What is sacred space and why is it so critical to our wellbeing?

  • How can friends keep us honest?

  • How can we offer kindness to others?

  • How should we define success?

  • How do we experience God?

  • How can we create a better world for our children?

  • How can we trust today?

  • What is the importance of pausing?

  • What can help us live longer?

  • How do we listen to ourselves and learn to be alone to foster deeper connections?

Notable quotes from Vivek Murthy:

“Most of us have a gap between our stated priorities and our lived priorities.” - @vivek_murthy #3bookspodcast

“Living a spiritual life is about living a life that is informed by, guided by and powered by love.” - @vivek_murthy #3bookspodcast

“It is in our vulnerable moments when we are honest with each other that we forge strong bonds and where we also grow as people.” - @vivek_murthy #3bookspodcast

“Being real is not about divulging everything, it is about being authentic in what it is you choose to share.” - @vivek_murthy #3bookspodcast

“One of the extraordinary benefits of being fully present is that it can stretch time and make 5 minutes feel like 30.” - @vivek_murthy #3bookspodcast

“We have great power within us, the power to make someone else feel seen as a witness to their journey and to make them feel like they matter. We can do all of that simply by being present with the power of our attention.” - @vivek_murthy #3bookspodcast

“We have to dedicate ourselves to helping people meet their basic needs for sleep, food, housing. Unless we do that, then we’re not practicing the spirituality that we may understand at a theoretical level.” - @vivek_murthy

“We now know from science, we don’t really multitask, we task switch.” - @vivek_murthy #3bookspodcast

“It is much harder to multitask when you have to look at somebody.” - @vivek_murthy #3bookspodcast

“We all need some sacred space that is free from distraction, where we can focus on grounding ourselves. Whether we use that time to meditate, read, walk in nature, or to just observe our breath, that time is absolutely essential.” - @vivek_murthy #3bookspodcast

“In this tension we have between being and doing I think we overvalue doing and we undervalue being.” - @vivek_murthy #3bookspodcast

“We need friends to be our mirrors and show us who we really are.” - @vivek_murthy #3bookspodcast

“Staying committed to living and building a people centered life is so essential to creating a fulfilling life for us and delivering the kind of society that we want our children to inherit.” - @vivek_murthy #3bookspodcast

“Love manifests as compassion, kindness and generosity. Fear surfaces as insecurity, jealousy, rage and anxiety. Acting out of fear leaves us feeling energetically drained, but when we act out of love it sustains us and makes us feel more whole.” - @vivek_murthy #3bookspodcast

“If we can just reach for kindness in a single moment it can open our hearts up and it can also open our eyes to what are often deeper wells of compassion and kindness.” - @vivek_murthy #3bookspodcast

“It is when we are able to reach for love whether it is in giving it or receiving it, that’s when we not only feel good but that’s when I believe we experience God.” - @vivek_murthy #3bookspodcast

“Moments of pause are what sustains our heart.” - @vivek_murthy #3bookspodcast

CONNECT WITH Vivek:

Word of the chapter: 

Resources Mentioned:

Enjoy the show? Use the Links Below to Subscribe: