Feminism

Chapter 73: Humble The Poet cries crusade but cautions courting controversy

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Do you miss coffee shops?

The clatter, the din, the pshh-pshh of the espresso machine. The cacophony of music and typing and magnetic sense of connection with strangers. I miss the belonging. I miss the community.

One of my favourite coffee shops is inside the Centre for Social Innovation in downtown Toronto where 3 Bookers will remember I vowed to record a future chapter while cruising by in David Sedaris’ limo back in Chapter 18. Well, the podcast gods worked their magic and I was lucky to find myself there months later in the company of the wonderful Humble the Poet. 

Truth be told, I’ve kept this chapter on ice for a while since it was recorded pre-masks, pre-lockdown. I kept thinking normalcy would return and then the pandemic dragged on and on and on and I grudgingly switched to virtual recordings. But now I need that coffee shop! So here is the last live and in-person recording of 3 Books I’ve got for you for a while. (Insert tear emoji here)

The Centre for Social Innovation Toronto

The Centre for Social Innovation Toronto

Do you know Humble the Poet?

He’s an electric and creative polymath, rapper, poet, spoken word artist, best selling author of Unlearn and Things No One Else Can Teach Us, Lollapalooza performer, former elementary school teacher, and a wildly popular blogger at humblethepoet.com with over 100,000 readers. Oh, and did I mention more than a million people follow him across social media @humblethepoet.

Perceptive, inquisitive, and putting out a vibe that captures hearts and minds, Humble defies easy stereotypes. I might even say he shatters them.

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We dive deep into his activism and how he develops courage to brave the wilderness and be so unafraid to challenge mainstream consensus by shedding light on Indian farmers or the Colin Kaepernicks of the world far before doing so becomes en vogue. We discuss how mainstream media preys on our biology and why controversy hooks our attention. We chat about the counterintuitive value of obscurity and how to stand out in a global village of sameness. And, of course, we discuss Humble the Poet’s 3 most formative books. 

I am grateful to share this conversation with this incredible human being while getting an aural dose of coffee shop community at the same time. Wherever you are right now, whatever you’re doing right now, I encourage you to flop down on the green couch beside the radiator. I’ll be in your left ear, Humble will be in your right ear, and let’s hang out.

Can I get you a cappuccino?

What You'll Learn:

  • Why should we explore and push the boundaries on unpopular stances?

  • How do we find the courage to stand up for injustice?

  • How should we pick causes to defend?

  • What are the tensions between science and religion?

  • How do we figure out what to trust?

  • Why is controversy not sustainable?

  • Why should there be no shame in liking short books?

  • What is the balance between authenticity and curation on social media?

  • What are the dangers of geolocation?

  • How do we stand out in a world of sameness?

  • How do we navigate the pull of followers on social media?

  • Why should we always ask before we post?

Notable quotes from HUMBLE THE POET:

“Are you contributing if you’re just regurgitating what everyone else is saying?” - Humble The Poet #3bookspodcast

“For me it was never about having the balls to say things — it was just like I learned some things and I can’t operate the same way I used to operate now that I know these things.” - Humble The Poet #3bookspodcast

"If the news ain’t boring, then it ain’t news.” - Humble The Poet #3bookspodcast

“Controversy and drama have always existed and it’s potato chips. It’s addictive. You have one you want more, but it’s not sustainable.” - Humble The Poet #3bookspodcast

“The only sustainable way to do anything, (whether you’re a writer, painter, dancer, CEO or banker), is to focus on how you are adding value to other people’s lives.” - Humble The Poet #3bookspodcast

“Secretly, underneath the surface, we’re chasing validation, we’re chasing significance, we’re chasing attention and we’ll make decisions accordingly.” - Humble The Poet #3bookspodcast

“The only way to really add value to the world is by sharing your unique self and not fitting in.” - Humble The Poet #3bookspodcast

“Focus on providing value to yourself and do it because you love doing it.” - Humble The Poet #3bookspodcast

“Value your obscurity.” - Humble The Poet #3bookspodcast

“It doesn’t get harder when things don’t work out, it gets harder when things exceed expectations.” - Humble The Poet #3bookspodcast

Connect with Humble the poet:

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Chapter 72: Adam Grant frowns on feeble feminism from fearmongering fellows

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Picture this: You’re a brand new professor two years into a teaching career at an illustrious university and feedback on you as a professor is … terrible. Sorry! But you’re told you suck. By lots of students. Again and again.

How would you process that? Cry? Crawl into a hole somewhere and curl up in the fetal position while sucking your thumb? That’s what I would do! That’s actually what I did do, frankly, in my first job ever at Procter & Gamble. They told me I sucked so I quit and ran away before I got fired.

But Adam Grant? No. He leaned into the feedback. He designed new surveys to get richer feedback. He asked other professors if he could take on more teaching classes. He basically triangulated and solved for the question: what makes a good professor?

Impressive right? Well, he’s been voted the most popular professor for seven straight years so I’d say so.

I had heard this story about Adam before I interviewed him and it made me even more curious about what makes this guy tick.

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He seemingly does everything.

He has a popular podcast with TED called WorkLife which is wonderful if you’re a student of organizational psychology, organizational behavior, or becoming a better leader. 

Oh, and how about his books? Every time Adam Grant pens a new book it shoots straight to the top of The New York Times bestseller list and sort of just roosts there for months. Give and Take, Originals, Option B (with Sheryl Sandberg), and now Think Again which I’ve loved reading.

In Think Again Adam says we must redefine intelligence, not just as the ability to think and learn, but rather embrace rethinking and unlearning. Rejecting the comfort of conviction for the discomfort of doubt allows us to widen our definition of what real intelligence is and widen the aperture of our minds. 

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Adam was good enough to dial me up from Philadelphia where he lives with his wife Allison and his three children. Since I did the interview literally hours after Leslie welcomed our new son into the world, I was a bit brain-jumbled. But we end up having a wonderful chat about parenting and balancing ambition versus contentment, along all the less visible sides of life. We also talk about feminism, humility, work life balance, and of course, Adam’s 3 most formative books.

So 3 Bookers! Stuff the earbuds in and fill up the sudsy sink, grab the leash for a long early-morning walk, or come hang out with Adam and me on a late night driveway chat…

Are you ready to turn the page to Chapter 72?

Let’s go!

What You'll Learn:

  • What are some elements of parenting intentionally?

  • How can busy couples think about sharing work?

  • What is Adam’s view on the state of feminism?

  • What is some low-hanging structural / systemic fruit when it comes to fighting misogyny?

  • What is The Daughter Effect?

  • What are some specific tools Adam uses to help practice humility?

  • What is ‘the curiosity gap’?

  • What does healthy ambition look like?

  • What is the meaning of life? (Yes, really)

Notable quotes from Adam Grant:

“I don’t think we should be sharing our responsibilities equally, I think we should be sharing them equitably.” - Adam Grant #3bookspodcast

“There is something about having a daughter if you’re a man that leads you to worry much more about how the world is going to treat her and what her place is going to be. But I also just got fed up with that effect. You couldn’t care about your wife, or your mom, or your sister, or any other woman you ever met!” - Adam Grant #3bookspodcast

“When we are considering people for jobs and promotions we often just start by evaluating the candidates and it’s too easy to find a reason to not bet on someone who doesn’t look like, or remind you of, someone who has been in that role before.” - Adam Grant #3bookspodcast

“I think humility is a perception that exists in the eye of the beholder.” - Adam Grant #3bookspodcast

“We shouldn’t see confidence and humility at opposite ends of the seesaw, they’re actually most powerful in combination.” - Adam Grant #3bookspodcast

Connect with Adam:

Word of the chapter: 

Resources Mentioned:

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