Pandemic

Chapter 53: Vivek Shraya is trashing traditional trans tropes

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I was browsing through a book store a few years ago when I stumbled on a small purple book called I’m Afraid of Men written by Vivek Shraya.

Hadn’t heard of the book! Hadn’t heard of Vivek Shraya! But the provocative title grabbed me so I flipped it over. What was on the back? A simple big solo statement: “And men are afraid of me.”

I opened and kept reading the jacket. Here’s what it said: “A trans artist explores how masculinity was imposed on her as a boy and continues to haunt her as a girl, and how we might reimagine gender for the twenty-first century. Vivek Shraya has good reason to be afraid. Throughout her life she has endured acts of cruelty and aggression for being too feminine as a boy and for not being feminine enough as a girl. In order to survive her childhood she had to learn how to convincingly perform masculinity. As an adult she makes daily compromises to steel herself against everything from verbal attacks to heartbreak. Now, with raw honesty, Shraya delivers an important record of the cumulative damage caused by misogyny, homophobia, and transphobia, releasing trauma from a body that has always refused to assimilate.”

Needless to say, I was intrigued. I picked up this small book and it transfixed me. It showed me a view and a lens and a perspective that I had no familiarity with and was opening my mind to a culture and people living with so much oppression. I ended up buying more of Vivek’s books, including her wonderful children's book A Boy & The Bindi. And when her traveling live memoiry stageshow How To Fail As A Pop Star visited Toronto my wife Leslie and I bought tickets and joined the giant standing ovation.

Vivek Shraya is an artist whose body of work crosses the boundaries of music, literature, visual art, theatre, and film. That bestselling book I’m Afraid of Men was her­ald­ed by Vanity Fair as “cultural rocket fuel,” and her album with Queer Songbook Orchestra, Part‑Time Woman, was nominated for the Polaris Music Prize. She is one half of the music duo Too Attached and the founder of the publishing imprint VS. Books. A six-time (!) Lambda Literary Award finalist, Vivek was a Pride Toronto Grand Marshal, was featured on The Globe and Mail’s Best Dressed list, and has received honours from The Writers’ Trust of Canada and The Publishing Triangle. And, as if that’s not enough, she’s also Assistant Professor of Creative Writing at the University of Calgary!

And now, right in the throes of her book launch for her fiction debut (!) The Subtweet, I had the pleasure of chatting with Vivek from Calgary about a slew of topics I think you’ll enjoy such as how parents can avoid snuffing out their children’s gender creativity and how we might think about using pronouns.

Vivek is able to navigate many complex topics—topics that most people are not even willing to discuss—with a comfort and clarity that shows a deep level of thinking and which is the partial product of the hardships she’s endured and navigated throughout her life. I find her and her work incredibly brave, vulnerable, and important.

I loved talking to her and hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did.

And now … let’s go!

What You'll Learn:

  • How do you conduct a virtual book tour?

  • How can parents avoid snuffing out the gender creativity in their children?

  • How did colonization induce transphobia?

  • What are the pros and cons of using labels?

  • How might we think about using pronouns?

  • What are some issues with the most common trans narratives?

  • How do we learn to see cultural lenses that we have lived with our whole lives?

  • What is an artist’s real job?

  • And, of course, what are the incredible Vivek Shraya’s 3 most formative books?

notable quotes from vivek shraya:

“There is this whole idea that you can’t love someone else until you love yourself, but for me, it’s actually the opposite that’s been true. It is by loving other brown people, loving other queer people, that I’ve learned to love myself.” – Vivek Shraya #3bookspodcast

“The biggest thing is giving your child the space to be who they are.” – Vivek Shraya #3bookspodcast

“As a culture, we should all be more open and flexible to the possibility of change.” – Vivek Shraya #3bookspodcast

CONNECT WITH Vivek:

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Chapter 52: Wagner Moura on lessons in living and loving from Latino leaders

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Wagner Moura 3 Books Neil Pasricha.jpg

We need leadership right now.

Professional sports? Paused. Olympics? Postponed. Movie theaters? Closed.

And yet we need stories to process, make sense, and inspire us more than ever before.

Community leaders, politicians, and family members are filling the void. Don’t you love the viral stories of doctors playing piano after a long shift or prime ministers doing press conferences declaring the Tooth Fairy an essential service?

We need leadership right now.

And today I want to offer you a great one.

Sérgio de Mello was a United Nations diplomat for 34 years earning awards and praise for his astounding global humanitarian efforts. He had a unique leadership style which cut through bureaucracy, clearly saw the humans behind the flags, and understood that we live in a global village and the most important way to get through tough times is by connecting our hearts.

His empathetic and hopeful story is being brought to the screen in a brand new film called Sergio by Wagner Moura, an incredibly talented actor perhaps best known for playing Pablo Escobar in Narcos.

Leslie and I absolutely loved Sergio and I was thrilled to sit down with Wagner Moura, passionate father, passionate activist, and passionate artist, to discuss many, many themes including: 

  • How do we learn to stand up for what we believe in?

  • How do we parent during quarantine?

  • How do we commit to things beyond our control?

  • How do we create art in times of crisis?

  • What do you say to your children when a president publicly denounces you?

  • How do we seek out the humble leaders without titles in our own lives?

  • And, of course, what are Wagner Moura’s three most formative books? 

I found Wagner Moura to be an incredibly beautiful soul and I think you will be inspired by the wonderful soulful offering he gives us all on 3 Books.

Listen to Chapter 52 below.

Let’s go!

What You'll Learn:

  • How do we learn to stand up for what we believe in?

  • How do we parent during quarantine?

  • How do we commit to things beyond our control?

  • How do we create art in times of crisis?

  • What do you say to your children when a president publicly denounces you?

  • How do we seek out the humble leaders without titles in our own lives?

  • And, of course, what are Wagner Moura’s three most formative books? 

notable quotes from wagner moura:

“We now can see who the real leaders are.” – Wagner Moura #3bookspodcast

“All characters I’ve played have Hamlet’s shadow over them.” – Wagner Moura #3bookspodcast

“Education in the arts is a process of not educating your brain but your soul.” – Wagner Moura #3bookspodcast

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